Heads up: This post is 13 years old. My thinking may have evolved since then — read it with that in mind.
We had a good playgroup today with 10 babies, ranging from 9 months to 3.5 years old.
There was a pair of parents who were first timer, they have a 1.5 year old boy. The Dad would issue commands to his son constantly - No! Come here! Stand up! After observing for a while, I asked if I could say something, and I told them my own story of how our helper forced Luc to eat even though he had signaled he didn’t want to eat anymore, which caused some bad behaviors to internalize an I had to spend months to correct that. I was trying to empathize with them and let them know that by observing and respecting their child at this age, they’ll have a much better relationship with him when his “terrible twos” personality kicks in.
Since my wife had to stay home to look after our sick daughter, I didn’t bring the crafts materials for the parents. Naturally, they all play with their kids, the opposite of child initiated play style. I realized I had to do something about it. So, I asked everyone to try something for just 15 minutes. Forget any preconception of what our babies could do or should do, just sit outside of the play mat and observe.
The transformation was immediate. The room grew much quieter, the babies were actually a little surprised but the sudden changes. Soon they went on to play by themselves without the need for their parents to entertain them. It was a successful experiment.