Heads up: This post is 13 years old. My thinking may have evolved since then — read it with that in mind.
Today, there was an incident at our parents organized, child-led playgroup. An older child who plays a little too rough bit another child’s ear so hard that it bled. Their moms were chatting with each other when it happened and didn’t notice. A grandma who wasn’t part of their playgroup pointed it out to them, and scolded them for not properly watching their children.
I think too many people confuse progressive parenting with “letting your children do whatever they want.” That just spoils them. Instead, methodologies like RIE advise parents to set clear boundaries such as “never hurt another person.”
If you see that some children is in that age where they have the tendencies to hurt others, pay close attention and stay close to them. When they’re about to hurt someone, gently block them and say, in a calm but matter of fact kind of tone, something like, “I won’t let you do hit him.”
Setting clear boundaries and consequences that you’ll honor is the key to discipline in the progressive parenting way.
This story raises two other points: “What are parents supposed to do during a Reggio-inspired, child-initiated playgroup?” and “How do you deal with another person who wants to teach you how to teach your child?!” But those are for another time.