Heads up: This post is 12 years old. My thinking may have evolved since then — read it with that in mind.
Ever since reading about Pauline Hawkin’s Animal Farm Lessons, I’ve had one of the outcomes stuck in my head:
“Every once and a while, I will have a student who stands up and leads, not as a dictator, but as a leader of the people. He will accept every suggestion and value everyone’s input, even if some of the suggestions are ridiculous. I’ve had only a few students who have actually led that way over the years, but I always hope that those few students find their way into politics.”
I had written about why I started 100 Village, later on, I realized that I wanted children to grow up with these qualities because I hoped they can become future change makers - do the right things and make the world a better place. Last week however, something very personal about my son’s behaviors really shook my world and gave me a sharpened focus!
Basically, Allison and Mabo at Mulberry Tree Unschool had identified that my son had passed the toddler, experimental stage of hitting and started to hit and to do things to hurt other people or make other people feel sad / angry / unhappy on purpose. After a sleepless night of reflection, I told them that I think the reason for such behavior was because I didn’t properly give him unconditional love. Last weekend, Luc locked me and his little sister out on the roof and proceeded to laugh about it. When I got back inside, I was angry and I brought him to the roof, locked him out and asked him if he was feeling happy or not? Then I held him in my arms and I said: “I’m always doing things that help other people and make people happy… but I see you doing things that make other people sad… I’m worried about you. I love you so much and I wish you can also do things that help other people and make people happy.” I was crying as I said those words. I can’t help but get very emotional when I think about how my lovely little boy is “turning to the dark side”, in Mabo’s words.
This brings me back to the Animal Farm Lessons. If I want children to grow up to become change makers, then more than just the qualities listed on why I started 100 Village, they need to have a “good heart” - to be considerate and empathic. This became my newfound focus for 100 Village -
Can We Teach Children to Become Empathetic Leaders?