Heads up: This post is 12 years old. My thinking may have evolved since then — read it with that in mind.
After the recent events that caused me to focus my research on “Can we teach children to become empathetic leaders”, I started to interview empathetic leaders in my network. I want to find out how they grew up to become the person they are today. Last Friday, I interviewed Patrick Newell. Patrick lives in Tokyo and he started Tokyo International School 13 years ago because he couldn’t find any school that “taught 21st century skills to 21st century children”. I met Patrick in 2010 when I volunteered at TEDxTokyo, he and another good friend of mine, Todd Porter, were the founders of a pilot program originated from the TED conference, which later became TEDx! Patrick also founded Living Dreams, an NPO that enriches the lives of over 2000 orphans in Japan, and co-founded Impact Japan, a lighthouse for entrepreneurship and innovation in Japan.
Nick: “So, let’s start with your childhood. How did you grow up?”
Patrick: “Yeah, I think that’s the key question. When you ask this question, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen a pattern already. People who are empathetic, I think they have something in their childhood that was challenging and difficult, that caused them to look at other people in a kinder way. For me, in a nutshell, I had a pretty difficult childhood, my mom and dad divorced when I was 5, my mom moved to Northern California when I was 9, with no money at all. We had to struggle, all my life actually. I used to get into a lot of fights, mainly I got into fights with bullies who were bullying other kids, I was empathetic toward other kids who were being picked on, or may be that was the way I got rid of my frustration because I was frustrated with having a difficult childhood. For me, having gone through all of that, when I see people who are in a difficult childhood situation, I can align with their feelings. I have an NGO called Living Dreams and we work with a couple thousand of orphans here in Japan. I see these kids, they were called stupid, that they won’t be able to do anything with their lives, that they have no financial resources… I can empathize with them because I’ve been in a similar position. That really drives me to want to make a difference. So I’m involved in education, I just think I don’t want children to have to go through some of the things I did. Discover ways so we can educate them so that they would excel, and treat other people kindly and with respect.”
Nick: “So in a nutshell, you’ve been through a lot of hardship and that made you empathetic toward others in similar situation. Do you think empathy is something you can teach to someone if they have never endured any kind of hardship?”
Patrick: “I think you can. A lot of it is neural wiring. If you look at situations that develop empathy, you could actually put the children through simulations, make them aware of the others’ difficulties, put them in other people’s shoes and have them imagine, experience and problem solve. Another way is by helping others, exposing them to real life people in need, raising their awareness of the other people’s difficulties.”
The hour long interview was enlightening and meaningful. We continued to delve deeper into developing empathy, and then moved on to his journey starting Tokyo International School, and finally to one of his latest initiatives: 21 Foundation - 21st Century Learning for 21st Century Learners
Thank you again, Patrick!