Teaching Empathy Interviews - Patrick Newell

Sun, 17 Aug 2014 00:26:00 +0000

After the recent events that caused me to focus my research on “Can we teach children to become empathetic leaders”, I started to interview empathetic leaders in my network. I want to find out how they grew up to become the person they are today. Last Friday, I interviewed Patrick Newell. Patrick lives in Tokyo and he started Tokyo International School 13 years ago because he couldn’t find any school that “taught 21st century skills to 21st century children”. I met Patrick in 2010 when I volunteered at TEDxTokyo, he and another good friend of mine, Todd Porter, were the founders of a pilot program originated from the TED conference, which later became TEDx! Patrick also founded Living Dreams, an NPO that enriches the lives of over 2000 orphans in Japan, and co-founded Impact Japan, a lighthouse for entrepreneurship and innovation in Japan.

Nick: “So, let’s start with your childhood. How did you grow up?”

Patrick: “Yeah, I think that’s the key question. When you ask this question, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen a pattern already. People who are empathetic, I think they have something in their childhood that was challenging and difficult, that caused them to look at other people in a kinder way. For me, in a nutshell, I had a pretty difficult childhood, my mom and dad divorced when I was 5, my mom moved to Northern California when I was 9, with no money at all. We had to struggle, all my life actually. I used to get into a lot of fights, mainly I got into fights with bullies who were bullying other kids, I was empathetic toward other kids who were being picked on, or may be that was the way I got rid of my frustration because I was frustrated with having a difficult childhood. For me, having gone through all of that, when I see people who are in a difficult childhood situation, I can align with their feelings. I have an NGO called Living Dreams and we work with a couple thousand of orphans here in Japan. I see these kids, they were called stupid, that they won’t be able to do anything with their lives, that they have no financial resources… I can empathize with them because I’ve been in a similar position. That really drives me to want to make a difference. So I’m involved in education, I just think I don’t want children to have to go through some of the things I did. Discover ways so we can educate them so that they would excel, and treat other people kindly and with respect.”

Nick: “So in a nutshell, you’ve been through a lot of hardship and that made you empathetic toward others in similar situation. Do you think empathy is something you can teach to someone if they have never endured any kind of hardship?”

Patrick: “I think you can. A lot of it is neural wiring. If you look at situations that develop empathy, you could actually put the children through simulations, make them aware of the others’ difficulties, put them in other people’s shoes and have them imagine, experience and problem solve. Another way is by helping others, exposing them to real life people in need, raising their awareness of the other people’s difficulties.”

The hour long interview was enlightening and meaningful. We continued to delve deeper into developing empathy, and then moved on to his journey starting Tokyo International School, and finally to one of his latest initiatives: 21 Foundation - 21st Century Learning for 21st Century Learners

Thank you again, Patrick!

Can We Teach Children to Become Empathetic Leaders?

Fri, 18 Jul 2014 01:47:00 +0000

Ever since reading about Pauline Hawkin’s Animal Farm Lessons, I’ve had one of the outcomes stuck in my head:

“Every once and a while, I will have a student who stands up and leads, not as a dictator, but as a leader of the people. He will accept every suggestion and value everyone’s input, even if some of the suggestions are ridiculous. I’ve had only a few students who have actually led that way over the years, but I always hope that those few students find their way into politics.”

I had written about why I started 100 Village, later on, I realized that I wanted children to grow up with these qualities because I hoped they can become future change makers - do the right things and make the world a better place. Last week however, something very personal about my son’s behaviors really shook my world and gave me a sharpened focus!

Basically, Allison and Mabo at Mulberry Tree Unschool had identified that my son had passed the toddler, experimental stage of hitting and started to hit and to do things to hurt other people or make other people feel sad / angry / unhappy on purpose. After a sleepless night of reflection, I told them that I think the reason for such behavior was because I didn’t properly give him unconditional love. Last weekend, Luc locked me and his little sister out on the roof and proceeded to laugh about it. When I got back inside, I was angry and I brought him to the roof, locked him out and asked him if he was feeling happy or not? Then I held him in my arms and I said: “I’m always doing things that help other people and make people happy… but I see you doing things that make other people sad… I’m worried about you. I love you so much and I wish you can also do things that help other people and make people happy.” I was crying as I said those words. I can’t help but get very emotional when I think about how my lovely little boy is “turning to the dark side”, in Mabo’s words.

This brings me back to the Animal Farm Lessons. If I want children to grow up to become change makers, then more than just the qualities listed on why I started 100 Village, they need to have a “good heart” - to be considerate and empathic. This became my newfound focus for 100 Village -

Can We Teach Children to Become Empathetic Leaders?

Empathetic Leader on Nick Wang

Teaching Empathy Interviews - Patrick Newell

Can We Teach Children to Become Empathetic Leaders?